Inside Fatherhood

What a Man Should Know About Fatherhood

by steve on January 15th, 2007

Are there some things you wish you knew when you first became a dad? Maybe you know them now but wouldn’t it be nice to have a complete list of things dads should know about fatherhood? Well MSN Lifestyle has come up with a list of 72 things men should know about fatherhood. Thanks to Blogging Baby for helping me find this.

Here are 20 but make sure to click here to read all 72 of them.

1. Don’t worry, your dad didn’t know what he was doing, either.
2. No, no–not that Spock!
3. Second thought, maybe you should worry.
4. Never tell anybody that you and your wife are “trying.”
We really don’t need the visual, that’s why.
5. Never tell anybody where your child was conceived, how long it took, or what song was playing.
6. Do not name your baby after cities, geographical points of interest, features of the solar system, seasons, plants, animals, or current television stars.
7. Your child, at birth, already has a deeply complicated relationship with his mother, and, for the first year, you are only a curiosity.
For a couple of years after that, an amusement-park ride.
Then, a referee.
And finally, a bank.
8. If you want to subject your son to the unkindest cut, insist on a local anesthetic, since many pediatricians don’t bother to use one.
The anesthetic is for the kid.
9. Baby gas is lessened with a good nipple connection during feeding, which decreases air intake.
Assuring that his lower lip is flipped out, not pursed, helps.
10. There is nothing wrong with thumb-sucking, which helps ease the pain of teething.
Nonetheless, it probably ought to stop by kindergarten.
11. Diaper-rash remedy: Expose baby’s hydraulics to the air until dry. Soak baby’s bottom in tepid water with a half cup baking soda. Then, Balmex. Or Lotrimin. Rediaper.
12. You know how they say you’ll get used to diapers? You won’t.
Unless you wear them a lot.
13. Forcing children to use toilets will make them dislike toilets.
Children begin using toilets when they tire of that not-so-fresh feeling.
Of course, this is long, way long, after you tire of it.
14. The start of crawling: usually begins between six months and twelve months.
Standing: usually between nine and twelve months.
Walking: between twelve and fifteen months.
The onset of the above, as with all developmental skills, is hugely variable among individual children.
15. Avoid walkers, not only because they can be dangerous around stairs but because they don’t require a child to balance and thus retard his walking progress.
16. Reason boys are better: They cannot get pregnant.
17. Reason girls are better: They’re less likely to get arrested.
18. The threat of an unknown punishment is always more effective than a stated one.
19. Annals of great punishments: Hang dolly from a noose!
That was a joke, Dad, a joke.
Annals of great punishments, for real: making him wash the car, clean the bathroom, and watch The McLaughlin Group.
You see, all great punishments should reduce the number of disagreeable tasks you would otherwise have to perform.
20. Teach by example.

Go here to read all 72

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POSTED IN: Advice, Parenting, Stay at Home Dads