Trophy Dads - Staying at Home With the Kiddos
Thanks to Hsien for emailing me an article that just came out about an increasingly common issue. What’s that common issue? That’s right, a dad who stays home because the spouse wears the financial trousers in the family. Well, believe it or not his story sounds like mine and everybody else’s I’ve heard who is a stay at home dad…
They married and had two children (though not in that order). As head of corporate responsibility in a large retail business, Liv still earned more than Andrew.
“So I started doing childcare,” he recalled. “I took an old-fashioned male view: ‘I have failed at my work, so I’m looking after kids.’ I was a lone man in the world of kids. I felt a bit gay as I pushed the buggy up the streets of Hackney.”
And we all get that weird out of place feeling pushing a stroller up the street in the middle of the day, when we ought to be at the office. That is why I got me a nice fancy wagon and pulled the kids around in it. I hate stereotypes as much as the next person but mommies push and daddies pull.
The next snippet hits home for me…
As he puts it himself, he had the domestic instincts of a smack addict. “The living room was an orgy of dismembered dollies. We were eating tea in the bath. I didn’t fix anything. The bulbs would go in the bathroom: we’d use candles.”
I remember bulbs blowing out in the bathroom about 2 years ago and I just lit candles. Why? I have no idea. I at least now take the time and replace them. I think sometimes the stress of staying home impairs your ability to think logically. You sort of fall into a nurture trap for a while until you can pull yourself together and do what needs to be done. It is just as important to keep the daddy role of DIY projects and crossing over to baking, cleaning, and nurturing.
It is quite a lengthy article but you can learn some thruths and statistics regarding the stay at home dad’s situation and even the working mother. Go read it.
Tags: dads, mother, Stay at Home Dads, working-momRelated Stories
POSTED IN: Dads in the News, Parenting in the News, Stay at Home Dads
3 opinions for Trophy Dads - Staying at Home With the Kiddos
Phil
Nov 21, 2006 at 2:01 am
I’ve been doing this for eight years and it’s only been in the past year or two that I’ve started getting good at things like cleaning bathrooms and kitchen sinks. Maybe it’s the repetition, but I’m actually putting my best effort into it now, whereas in years past I would just go through the motions.
Now if I could only get excited about cooking… I have 5 or 6 simple meals that I’m good at, but it just doesn’t excite me. The shorter the recipe, the better.
Gloria
Nov 21, 2006 at 5:40 am
honestly i admire stay at home dads. they’re extra special defying the usual stereotypes. If my ex didn’t ran away, i wouldn’t have mind having him as a househusband as i remember him pretty organized with house chores. but then not all men are like you steve. that’s why i admire your kind even more. Cheers to all stay-at-home dads!! :-D
steve
Nov 21, 2006 at 9:48 am
Phil, 8 years. You must be a pro by now. I can relate when it comes to going through the motions. I seem to be more aware of things and on top of things much better these days.
As for cooking, every so often I experiment and add a new recipe into our routine so that it isn’t like I learn to cook so much in a matter of a few weeks. I just slowly introduce more recipes to our routine.
Gloria, there isn’t much to admire. Maybe just the fact we are willing to stay home. But if you walked into my house at about 1pm you would see my home at its absolute worse.
I pick up and clean in the mornings and it seems almost tolerable until noon. The after lunch and before 2pm naps it is at its absolute worst.
Anyway, welcome to IF :D
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