Inside Fatherhood

Today’s New Woes of the Father

by steve on April 4th, 2007

We live in a completely different world today than say… oh even 30 years ago. The man is losing ground when it comes to his Kingship in the family. Women are also gaining in the workplace. In a recent article out of Psychology Today, it really hits home about what is currently happening. We see less of the traditional family where dad sits at the head of the dinner table after a long day at work.

The Emperor’s New Woes
Man is no longer king of his domain. He’s now supposed to be an equal partner — and a good listener, too. Blindsided by the escalating emotional demands of marriage, guys wonder how love became a no-win proposition.
By:Sean Elder

Last year I was asked by the editor of a men’s magazine to write a story about intimacy in relationships. His was one of those publications that advise the American man how to flatten his stomach and increase his chest size — that look, in other words, like a lot of women’s magazines. I spoke to the requisite marriage experts: psychologists and sociologists who had stared into the murk of modern male-female relations. Though I tried to steer my sources toward simple declarative sentences and do-it-yourself answers, the editor was not happy.

“Couldn’t you just give it to us in bullet points?” he asked. “We want a step-by-step guide on how to be emotionally intimate with your woman.”

Therein lies a precis of the principal dilemma in marriage today. Men have come to accept — even celebrate — their wives’ careers and paychecks while learning, step-by-step, how to bathe the baby and baste the turkey. But there is no Julia Child’s style primer on closeness, no chart with diagrams: Insert A into slot B, and there you go. Intimacy achieved. Let’s go have a cold one.

It would be funny if it weren’t so painful. “It’s probably the real cause of half of all divorces,” according to Sam Margulies, a divorce mediator in Greensboro, North Carolina, and author of several books on the subject of marital breakups. The changes in women’s lives — their roles, ambitions, opportunities — have been considered from every angle. But men’s lives have changed too, in ways that are more confusing, more contradictory and often less welcome. Men did not ask to have their roles redefined. Now, they’re looking for an instruction manual complete with fine print — and a translator’s guide as well.

Read full article

Share This

Related Stories

Fathers spending more time with kids
Father and Son Moments
Curt Schilling still saves a seat for dad
Fatherhood Quote of the Day
Being a True Father

POSTED IN: Dads in the News, News, Parenting