The Dad Approach to Babies
I know that when I first started staying home full time with the little kiddos I really didn’t have a clue as to what to do. I think this is normal especially if you have never been a parent before or never had a bunch of younger siblings you looked after growing up. But some of the problems I ran into right off the bat were simple things like being comfortable holding, rocking, moving, and feeding the baby. It is like anything you do for the first time, it just takes a little getting used to.
As you get more exposure to handling the baby you begin to develop your own little style. Some of the things I learned were simply by watching my wife. I began to develop some of my skills by simply watching how my wife did them. And as I turned into a diaper changing pro I began to learn what worked for me. In other words, I had learned the basics from my wife but now I had my own style to it.
I found that once I started breaking down those barriers and doing what worked for me I learned more quickly and became more comfortable with what I was doing. For example, when the baby became fussy after nursing my wife would gently bounce the baby with her arm around her belly. She would lean the baby forward a bit so its belly was gently leaning against her forearm. Then she would walk and gently bounce the baby, and every time the baby would burp. Great technique and that is what I did after feeding the baby a bottle.
It worked mostly but I felt I didn’t have the same touch. The baby was crankier with me after meals but I got through because that is how I learned to do it. But as time passed and I became more comfortable with handling the baby, and going to the park and seeing other parents struggle with this procedure, I learned quickly that I was not alone, thus a confidence boost.
So I began trying out other techniques on my own. What I found that helped the baby most with me was turning the baby around to face me and placing her face up over my shoulder. I would gently tap on her back and rock her up and down to get the burps out. I would push the baby up and over a little bit so the belly rested more on my shoulder. The only downfall is all the spitup goes all over your shoulder and down your back and not in front of you on the floor.
But what worked for me didn’t always work for my wife and vice versa. And if I had only learned that earlier. So, as advice for dads, make sure to learn from your spouse but at the same time don’t be afraid to try things that may work for you. Sometimes you will find that the one thing that works for you can be a bonding moment between you and your baby.
I remember when my youngest child would lay on her belly on my chest as we slept through the night. If I tried to move her she would wake up and cry. The only way she would sleep was stretched out on my belly. It gave my wife a break but try sleeping on your back all night. I like to switch sides. Anyway, she wouldn’t lay on my wife’s belly the same way. I developed a special bond with my baby. I was the one who put her down for naps, got her to sleep at night, and believe me it gave me a break too, from all the noise from the older kids. It meant I got to close the door to my bedroom and lay down for a bit. The baby loved going to bed on my belly and the best thing is we knew it would work each time.
So develop your own styles and find out what works best. You may be surprised.
Tags: babies, baby, dads, father, Parenting, parenting-techniques
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