Relationships Early On Effect Relationships Later
I always used to pick fun at the idea that children are the way they are because of their parents. I mean I knew it to be true to a certain degree but what bugged me were the people who were caught committing these horrible crimes and then turning around to say it was because they were neglected as a child. Or maybe they weren’t held enough as a baby.
What I really dislike is when people blame their childhood on everything. I mean there are people that come from terrible backgrounds and come out just fine down the road. But, according to recent research it says that the connection between father and child can really impact interrelationships in adulthood.
The research, which was supervised by Prof. Yossi Guttman and Dr. Amnon Lazar of the University of Haifa, evaluated 231 women and men between the ages of 22 and 32. The orphans surveyed in the study lost their fathers between the ages of 6 and 12 and the participants of divorced parents, experienced the absent of their father during the same period of childhood. The research used various parameters to measure both the participants’ father-child relationship and their capacity for intimacy as reflected in closeness, sexuality and commitment with their adult partners.
The findings noted barriers that limited the ability to develop intimate relationships with their partners among those whose thoughts of an absent father caused a marked rise in negative emotions and distancing. The results also noted a correlation between a balanced father-child relationship (in terms of closeness and distance) and the ability to form and sustain intimate relationships in adulthood. “The results showed that orphans and children of divorced parents experienced different emotional connections with their fathers. The orphans tended to idolize their fathers, while children of divorced parents tended to feel frustration and anger towards their fathers,” explained Dr. Nahmani.
The study also noted that a greater feeling of loss towards one’s father meant a smaller chance of establishing an intimate relationship in adulthood. “A feeling of loss is connected to the ability or lack of ability in the long term, to adjust to the loss of a father and to experience a change in the relationship with him. 41% of the participants whose father was permanently or partially absent reported a feeling of loss, often accompanied by a fear of being abandoned a second time and reported not being involved in a relationship,” she continued.
Another finding in the study is a connection between the emotional relationship with one’s father and the capacity for experienced intimacy in desire, participants who reported being emotionally distant from their fathers reported difficulty in entering into intimate physical relationships with their partners. However, the study revealed a higher level of closeness and commitment in orphans and children of divorced parents when in an intimate relationship. According to Dr. Nahmani, this finding shows that the potential for developing intimate relationships exists even when a father was absent during childhood. Those who overcame their difficulties as they matured made it possible to establish quality intimate relationships.
“The research found a definitive connection between the quality of the father-child relationship and interpersonal relationships later in life. It is vital that we continue to research the long-term effects of losing a father in order to answer the needs of these children over time,” noted Dr. Nahmani.
(Thanks hlei)
Tags: dads, daughter, fatherhood, fathers, interrelationships, relationships, research, studyRelated Stories
POSTED IN: Dad Resources, Dads in the News, Parenting Studies
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