Inside Fatherhood

Playing to the Same Beat

by steve on February 19th, 2007

All in all everything is wonderful in the Remington house. All of our spirits are lifted, kids are excited about the new arrival… Meghan Alexis, and life is grand. We are sort of living in the good ol’ days. Though things seem really good I do have to get a few things off my chest this morning about being a full time Stay at Home Dad.

First and foremost, having this position feels sometimes like listening to that Oasis song, Wonderwall over and over and over and over and over again, all day long for days on end. Listening to it once isn’t so bad but once the song ends you are happy it has ended.

I love my kids and I actually wouldn’t trade what I am doing now for anything in the world but let me tell ya… getting out on that one hour walk at the end of the day is a much needed event waiting to happen. Just as Family Phil mentioned just recently, there are things I do envy about working dads. He noted the lack of adult interaction. I do agree and that comes in at a close 2nd, but what drives me nuts and is on the top of my list is that there is simply no change. There is no break from it. You can do all you can to change the environment like bringing the kids to the park, taking them sledding, etc… but the underlying fact of it all is no matter where you are you still are stuck with the basic fundamentals of parenting and being the good dad that you are which is extremely exhausting.

The working father can have a bad day at the office and come home to not only a new scene, but an entirely different fundamental formula. Let’s put it this way… the working father is like having to listen to several bad songs over and over again. At least they know when the song is over they don’t have to hear that same song again for awhile.

As a Stay at Home Dad that song never changes and plays over and over again in your head. When “normal” dads are driving home from work, I remain in my current SAHD state of mind and continue until my head hits the pillow, and sometimes it doesn’t even go away then. And when the rare occasion comes and a mediocre song plays it is like the sweetest melody you have ever heard.

But don’t take it the wrong way. I love what I do, it is just a very challenging thing to do… and requires some inward strength to use coping mechanisms that will allow you to keep and control your own sanity.

This is day 1 of vacation week for my kids. Wish me the best. ;)

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POSTED IN: Stay at Home Dads