Another Perspective From a Stay at Home Dad
My first exercise I have been asking other Stay at Home Fathers what they feel is their “Best and Worst” moments. We just recently heard from Dennis of New Jersey…
Today we hear from Chris of Pensacola, Florida…
Rem,
Here is my take:Best:
Okay, forget all the mushy, lovey dovey answers for just a minute. You know the “I get to spend more time with the kids.” or “I am part of all those milestones that most parents miss.” How about this one, “I enjoy being a father and being with my children.” Ha! What about the practical answers like these? “We put family first!” or “Financially, it made more sense for me to stay home.” Really now, all those are great answers, really they are. The real truth is that we SAHD’s think the best part of this gig is the reaction we get from stay at home moms. I don’t even have to recite the comments to you. Generally, they contain two elements: 1.) Amazement that a man can actually do the job, and do it well; and 2.) Jealousy that their husbands can’t/won’t change a diaper, much less consider staying home full time with children. Let’s not touch the working man reaction,
it is just too funny.Worst:
I know what most people think I will answer to this; but they couldn’t be farther away from right. I have absolutely no trouble with the idea that at some point my resume will have on it a tenure of many years staying home, taking care of the family and shuttling children. For some guys that is the worst possible scenario for the future.The absolute worst part of this lies somewhere between when children are sick and the isolation that creeps in on you. I can’t nail down what is worse. There is a helplessness in both, I suppose. When my kids are sick, (like the recent strep throat that went through all three kids, one right after the other, whew!) my only thoughts are: How can I make them better? I wish it were me and not them or what can I do to prevent this again. The answers are always the same. The isolation is a bit trickier because it comes when you least expect it. Once your in it, it is hard to dig out of it. I do miss my friends, family and support network back home. Networking is the key for me to conquer the latter. I have made a lot of “mommy” friends, and that helps a lot. Although I can’t call one of them up and say “Let’s go catch a movie!”, they seem to understand for the most part. Or do they?
Chris Dufrene “chopperglide”
Helena, 7
Claire, 4
James, 2
Pensacola, FL
If you would like to submit to me your Best and Worst moments of a SAHD, email me with first name, city, how many kids you have, how long you have been a SAHD, and a link to your website if you have one.
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POSTED IN: Stay at Home Dads
1 opinion for Another Perspective From a Stay at Home Dad
Inside Fatherhood » Best and Worst Moments From a SAHD
Oct 10, 2006 at 2:11 pm
[…] I have been asking other Stay at Home Dads what their best and worst moments are. We first heard from Dennis and Chris. Today we get to hear from Louis… I started this SAHD thing involuntarily two weeks before the first was born. Up until then I’d been a rising star in the profession, had already presented in Washington not three years after graduating, had brought two companies around from a dismal and moribund state and made the who’s who three years consecutively. Unfortunately when ones head is above the radar in the corporate grind it tends to be a target and it was a skill around which I’d not learned to negotiate. So I went in to the SAHD thing with a less than stellar attitude. Not only had I taken a severe blow to the gut professionally but winter was around the corner, our marriage was still in an infancy stage and I was indeed, frightened at the prospect of not fulfilling that ‘masculine’ obligation of battling with dragons while the wife arranged our home life the way she saw best. In many ways I felt that I’d failed. […]
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